Dov Charney: Too Legit 2 Quit

Photo by MC Ty for his forthcoming album "Please Hardaway, Don't Hurt 'Em"

Aside from legitimizing the running man as the go-to dance move of the early 90's, MC Hammer's other great career accomplishment was going bankrupt. It shocked everyone at the time but looking back it makes perfect sense. He was rolling with a massive entourage, financing parties for a swarm of beggars and hangers on and living life like a Rock Star, always glad to pick up the tab.

Chris Medina Should Be Allowed To Fuck Hookers With Impunity

Because I work in the public sector I haven't been able to avoid hearing people talk about American Idol contestant Chris Medina. You've probably heard it already, but just to recap, his story goes as follows:

Depressed Singles Suffering From Seasonal Affective Disorder Agree: It's Just Too Gay

Story from Gawker : (respect to Ben Leo for the tip)

Arkansas Supermarket Covers Up Magazine with Photo of Gay Family

Oh Lord. A Harps supermarket in Mountain View, Arkansas has placed a "family shield" over the Us Weekly cover of Elton John with his partner David Furnish and their new baby, to protect innocent children. From Mr. John's crazy glasses?

Put away the knee jerk reactions for a second and be totally honest - you get why this would be offensive to some people, right?

Those broad smiles, the bright beaming optimism in their eyes, the warm radiant glow of human contentment screaming at you from the front cover - it's just too gay. Totally, completely, utterly fucking GAY.

After being threatened with prosecution by Julian Assange's Australian lawyer, Sarah Palin vows to never return to Europe

AP-- During an interview with National Public Radio, Robert Stary, the Australian lawyer representing Julian Assange, stated that if Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin ever visited Australia they would attempt to  prosecute her for inciting violence against the Wikileaks head man.

Coachella Reaches Out to the Ghetto

 Animal Collective fans excited about attending 

this years Coachella Festival on Layaway

Because it's important to squeeze every possible dollar from both ends of the socioeconomic spectrum, the organizers of this year's Coachella are now offering a Layaway program for those who are overwhelmed by making an upfront financial commitment of $270 for a festival ticket.

Coachella for Millionaires

I know what you're thinking - "I really want to go check out all the awesome, edgy music at the Coachella Arts Festival, but do I really have to commune with all those dirty hippies?"

Rest easy - this year the organizers of the festival and Goldenvoice have teamed up to show you that they understand your need to be distinguished from the unwashed masses of peasants that typically gather at liberal arts festivals.

You spend your average day occupying the upper echelon of society's hierarchical structure, basking in the privilege that accompanies extreme socioeconomic success, why reduce yourself to having to speak with, or potentially be touched by someone who makes less than 100k?

Compromise no more!

The Thrill of Defeat

As a sports fan I don't know that there's anything that makes me feel as good as watching the New England Patriots lose. I think I might even prefer it to watching my team win, which is a really perverse thing to say.

There's a moral righteousness that comes from cheering against the Pats, a feeling as though the game of football itself is standing behind you every time Brady is sacked or the cameras pan to the sideline to show Belichick scowling with displeasure at a botched fake punt .

You know somewhere inside that anytime the Patriots are losing, the game of football is winning.

Is This Your Ass?

Is this your ass?
If so, I have terrible news for you: No one will ever love you for who you really are.

A Considered Opinion of What Happened In Arizona

After considering my thoughts, working through my bias and ultimately reaching a point where I felt comfortable to put forward a position on the Arizona tragedy, I sent my work over to Arv at StreetCarnage. You can read it by clicking here.

I've replaced my initial off the cuff take on the tragedy with this post because I believe it more accurately reflects my thoughts on what took place.
Something I didn't mention in that post: I continue to believe that partisanship is the greatest obstacle to political progress in the United States. What I noticed more than anything in the aftermath of this tragedy was the tendency most people have of recoiling into their parties ideologies without thinking for themselves. I was guilty of this too to an extent. I'll probably write about this in an upcoming post, either here or on StreetCarnage.

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Your Pills Need Pills

Are you ready to have the volume in your brain turned all the way to 11?
Looks like the guys at AstraZeneca are taking inspiration from Spinal Tap for the release of their new product Seroquel XR. It's basically a pill that's designed to reinforce the effects of the anti-depressant you're already taking, making it the pharmaceutical equivalent of bumping coke to push your MDMA peak.

Scene Report: Trinidad

Maracas Bay Beach, Trinidad

When I was younger I used to enjoy winter in Toronto. I also used to enjoy putting bags full of dog shit on people's porches, lighting it on fire and running away. I'd like to believe I've matured a little since then. I still think Toronto is a great place to live 8 months of the year but you're lying to yourself if you think January in the city is any place to be. I decided to get away this holiday season and took off to Trinidad for the holidays. As you probably already know the country is actually 'Trinidad and Tobago', but since I didn't spend any time in Tobago you get 50% less coverage. Check out some of the things I learned about the island at Street Carnage.

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Creator of Facebook Celebrates 50 Billion Dollar Valuation, Creator of MySpace Puts Gun In Mouth And Cries

After hearing of his companies 50 billion dollar valuation

Zuckerberg began jerking off onto a pile of gold while staff 

members showered him with thousand dollar bills. 

Facebook was never the first social networking website. It's not even clear that it's the best social networking website; but it is the most valuable. It was reported earlier today in the New York Times that Goldman Sachs and an unnamed Russian investor have purchased a $500 million dollar stake in Facebook, giving the networking website an overall valuation of around $50 billion dollars.